The El Lay H3 Guidelines state, “If a harriette [alt. a harriette or prospective harriette] doesn’t wish to drink her down down, she may designate any hasher [alt. our resident RA, Dr. Mikey {or whoever the presiding RA is during the 2% of circles where Dr. Mikey is not in attendunce}] to drink it for her, in exchange for merely showing her tits.”
Histerical Context
The ELH3G were spontaneously devised and deployed during the circle following El Lay Hash #952, hared by Juggles His Balz and Ride Me, at the Barrington Rec Center in Brentwood on April 26, 1999.
In their earliest days, the ELH3G’s were most often invoked by El Lay H3’s RA Dr. Mikey asking the presiding GM, at appropriate (or inappropriate) points during the circle, “Doesn’t this hash have guidelines?” During the reign of Cock O’ Dial Done Me as Grand Mattress, that would invariably result in a dipthong-rich recitation of said Guidelines, often accompanied by a (too) brief demo of the "up-side-side-down" technique by the GM, while Dr. M flexed his biceps and knelt in front of the potential Guidelines follower(s).
During the Regum Xlaxiae that continues through to today, the ELH3G’s are most often invoked whenever El Lay GM Xlax eyes suitable (i.e., anyone with tits) potential Guideline followers preparing to drink their down downs and prompts the circle by exclaiming, “The El Lay Hash has no rules, but we do have….” to which the circle replies in unison, “…Guidelines!”. Xlax then recites the Guidelines as outlined in the open paragraph above, and the suspense begins.
The tenth year onniversary of the Initial Invoking of the El Lay H3 Guidelines was observed immediately following El Lay Hash #1488, on April 27, 2009.
Enhancements (har!) to the basic routine
If the ELH3G’s have been successfully invoked multiple times, Dr. Mikey may consume his sixth, or seventh, or whateverth down down in “ejaculatory mode”, whereby he holds beer in his yap, strokes his neck several times, and then spews it out onto the rest of the circle in a series of large spurts. It’s probably not as pleasant as it sounds….
Any Guidelines candidate who exhibits the slightest deliberation as to whether or not to follow the ELH3G’s is immediately encouraged by the circle to do so, using such time honored phrases as: “C’mon, everybody’s doin’ it!”, “Whatsamatter, chicken?”, “Don’t you want to be cool?”, “Don’t worry, we won’t tell Mom!”, “It’ll help you relax!”, and “Nobody here even knows you!”.
On two mammorable occasions, new boot harriettes who followed the ELH3G’s were summarily hash named, despite it being their virgin trails, in recognition of the additional, formerly-secreted items that they concurrently revealed: a car key on a string (Key to My Hard-on) and Kleenex (Tissue Tits).
